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Making Home Safer: A Guide for Disabled Parents
Article written by Danny Knight

For many parents who are living with a disability, it can be difficult to take everyone’s needs into consideration in regard to living in a safe, comfortable home.

You may be worried about your ability to maneuver through the home while carrying a baby, or you might be thinking about how you’ll give your child a bath while respecting your mobility issues.

There are so many things to consider that it can easily become overwhelming. 
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3 Personalized Christmas Gift Ideas for Filipino Families


Christmas is almost here! And what better way to show your love both to your family and to local businesses than to buy locally made personalized items?

Here are some of my top picks for local personalized Christmas gift ideas that are perfect for Filipino families.
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Bedroom Design Tips for a Child with Autism
Article written by Danny Knight

A child’s bedroom is their safe haven. It’s the only place in the house that belongs to them.

Having personal space is important for people of all ages, and for children, it’s just as important to have this area as they develop autonomously and grow into independent young adults. 

Children on the autism spectrum have different needs to address, such as sensory considerations.

As you begin to design the room that will become their personal space and comfort zone, these considerations should influence the choices that you make. 

If your child has autism, talk to their doctor about how you can focus on their particular needs, and check out these practical suggestions to help you design the perfect bedroom.
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Parenting Book Review: The Five Love Languages of Children

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The 5 Love Languages of Children - parenting book review - only child blog

Title: The Five Love Languages of Children
Authors: Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Ross Campbell
Personal Rating: 5/5 

Summary:
From the author of The Five Love Languages, Dr. Chapman teamed up with psychiatrist and author of How to Really Love Your Child Dr. Campbell to write a variant of the book that focuses on children. This book helps parents discover their children's love languages and provides practical advice on how to use the love languages to discipline their child more effectively.


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A Focus on Loving Children Effectively

As the title suggests, the book focuses on methods in speaking your child's love language and therefore loving them more effectively. 

The book works on the premise that all parents love their children, but does your children actually feel that love?

Dr. Chapman and Dr. Campbell emphasizes how making your children feel unconditionally loved every single day is the very foundation of building a positive and harmonious relationship with them.

And this includes being able to discipline and correct their behavior more effectively as well.

The first few chapters discussed the five different love languages—physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service. 

Each chapter goes into detail the different ways children manifest the need for these love languages, as well as practical suggestions on how parents can speak these love languages to their children.

There are also age-appropriate suggestions on how to discover your child's primary love language.

The authors, however, heavily emphasizes that a person's love language is fluid; that is, it can change over time and may change depending on a particular growth stage. 

They stressed that although your child may have a primary love language, it's crucial to speak all five love languages as much as possible.

Emphasis on Positive Forms of Discipline

One of this book's strongest suits is how it emphasizes the use of positive forms of discipline over negative and punitive discipline techniques. To quote, Dr. Chapman and Dr. Campbell says:


"Nothing makes a child more desperate than a lack of love. However, it does not make sense to demand good behavior from a child without first making sure he feels loved."

"A child who misbehaves has a need. To overlook the need behind the misbehavior can prevent us from doing the right thing [loving them effectively and filling their love tanks]."


The chapter on "Discipline and the Love Languages" goes on to discuss five ideas on how to control your child's behavior: two positive methods (making requests and gentle physical manipulation), two negative methods (issuing commands and punishment), and one neutral method (behavior modification—i.e., positive and negative reinforcements).

While the authors do not advocate the use of punishment and other forms of negative discipline, they do emphasize the importance of expressing your love to your child before and after administering punishment. 

Spanking is, of course, discouraged at all costs. The form of negative reinforcement suggested by this book is withdrawing certain privileges directly related to the offense.

They further emphasize that the key to effectively correcting the behavior of a child is to do it in the context of love, and in doing so, you should honor and respect their love language.

For example, not using criticism if your child values words of affirmation, or not using time-outs when their love language is quality time, etc.

The Verdict

Hands down, this is the best parenting book that I've ever read. It is an easy and quick read, and one that you can readily digest even when you're not well-versed in the concept of love languages.

The illustrations and suggestions in the book are also quite workable and can be easily applied in practice.

I highly suggest this book to any parent—whether you have young children or adult children. Love, after all, is timeless and it's never too late to make someone feel loved, especially your children. 
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parenting book review - james dobson - new dare to discipline


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Parenting Book Review - James Dobson Only Child - New Dare to Disciplin



Title: The New Dare to Discipline
Author: Dr. James Dobson
Personal Rating: 2/5 

Summary:
World-renowned psychologist and marriage, family, and child counselor James Dobson talks about different aspects of discipline in areas of parenting, education, and morality. The book serves as both a guide and a "challenge" for parents to apply age-old parenting "advice" gleaned from centuries of parenting practice and the Bible itself.


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A Difficult Read for the Modern Parent

I have to be honest that it took me two tries to read this book. 

The first time, I stopped reading it because I found it quite too dry and too boring. 

The second time, I was so ready to throw the book because of its very rigid view on discipline and it places too much emphasis on spanking.

Don't get me wrong. 

I grew up in this kind of rigid discipline system, and while it has its merits, it can be quite difficult to apply in these modern times when young parents like me are exploring "newer" styles of parenting such as responsive parenting and gentle parenting—basically, variants of positive discipline.

Dr. Dobson argues that:

"The best source of guidance for parents can be found in the wisdom or the Judeo-Christian ethic, which originated with the Creator and was handed down generation by generation from the time of Christ."

To him, age-old discipline methods from centuries ago and traditional parenting wisdom passed from our elders, still ring true today.

He claims that "modern" permissive parenting is the root of everything wrong in our current society.

While there are parts that I agree, such as balancing loving kindness and intolerance to any act of deliberate wrongdoing, I beg to defer to his inflexible view on discipline.

There is a reason why "modern" parenting styles surfaced, and that's because traditional discipline methods focus more on corporal punishment rather than respecting the individuality and mental well-being of a child.

On Spanking, Corporal Punishment, and Rewards System

Spanking and Corporal Punishment

As was mentioned, Dr. Dobson underscores the significance of spanking children when disciplining.

While I agree that children should face consequences if an infarction is deliberately made by the child even after several warnings, I do not agree that spanking should be a central part to bending a child to submission.

Several studies have, in fact, supported that corporal punishment has long-term negative effects on individuals. 

Dr. Dobson does emphasize that spanking should be used sparingly and only as a last resort.

He also delineated controlled spanking and child abuse, even emphasizing how a parent who is prone to intense anger should never even spank their child at all costs.

He also added that spanking is not effective when disciplining teenagers and that a different approach should be taken.

Rewards and the Issue of Bribery 

One strong point of this book is that Dr. Dobson has discussed in great length creative ways to reward children and teenagers.

His rewards system methods can be applied both in the home and in school, and can be quite a good resource for teachers.

On the issue of bribery, however, Dr. Dobson emphasizes that rewards are not limited to monetary or other physical things; it can also be as simple as a word of praise, a hug, or a special trip to somewhere a child would enjoy.

He also discussed the best way to apply the rewards system without risking to spoil the child or make it lean towards bribery.

Discipline in Learning and Morality

The Value of Discipline in Learning

Another strong point of Dr. Dobson's view on discipline is how it relates to learning and morality.

He strongly advocates the need to individually assess the IQ of a child in order to better gauge his/her learning.

He also advises against putting a toddler to school way too early and even emphasizes how homeschooling during the early childhood days (before grade school) can be beneficial in molding a child's mental capacity to learn.

He is also against abolishing the grading system, as some schools have implemented, as he believes grading a child can be a good reward system in addition to being a measurement tool.

He does, however, advise that teachers should always grade children according to their individual learning journey (and their IQ level) instead of measuring his/her capabilities according to a generalized grading system. 

A New Dare to Discipline to Uphold Morality

As was mentioned, Dr. Dobson claims that most of society's problems today stem from the lack of discipline.

One issue he discussed in length is the issue of early sex education and media's uncensored promotion of promiscuity and "safe" sex.

He believes that children should be shielded from these, especially when they are still young, and that the introduction of sex education should appropriately be a parent's responsibility—not the school or mass media.

The Verdict

Dr. Dobson's The New Dare to Discipline is a tough read, especially when you're a parent leaning towards a more mindful and positive style of parenting. 

He does express some valid points when it comes to using rewards and the ramifications of lax discipline strategies on learning systems and one's morality.

If you're a parent who likes to do things the traditional way, you will likely enjoy this book.

However, for a parent who would rather explore a more contemporary and gentler way of disciplining your child, this book is not the best choice.


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home office ideas - work from home mom dad parent
Article written by Danny Knight

Thanks to flexible working practices, home offices are becoming increasingly popular.

Many people mistakenly believe that they don’t have the room or budget to create their own home office, but this is not the case.

With a bit of creative thinking and some clever design solutions, you can create a fantastic office in even the smallest of spaces.

Layout Ideas

A well-thought-out layout can make even the smallest space seem like a roomy office.

One way to create the illusion of space is to paint ceilings and walls in light colors, pale pinks, or lilacs, for example.

The right color can also improve your productivity, and research suggests that blue shades can help to make us more productive.

While color is fine if you’re making video calls, a neutral background will look more professional.

Letting in lots of natural light is also a great way of making a room feel “airy” and spacious.

A piece of statement wallpaper, even if it is just a small square behind your desk, can add interest and create the illusion of space without being too distracting.

A plant, even something small like a cactus, can add greenery to the room and gives it a natural feel.

Research also suggests that even a small plant can have a positive impact on our health and well-being.

Alternatively, you can use lighting to create the illusion of natural light and space. A colorful, statement lamp is not only functional but can add interest to an otherwise dull space.

If you’re creating an alcove office, or re-purposing a corner of the hallway, try using paint and flooring changes to zone the space.

Wherever you’re planning on placing your home office, pay attention to outlets. You don’t want to have to climb through a sea of cables to get to your desk.

De-Clutter

Work out what you’ll need, such as a desk, computer, and chair. Including only essential items on this list will help to minimalize clutter.

Research conducted by Harvard shows that a minimalist office can help you to focus for longer.

Make the Most of What You’ve Got

Repurposing items that you already own can save you money.

If you need to purchase new items, look for them in-store discounts. Signing up for store newsletters is also a good idea.

Sometimes, they’ll enclose a handy discount voucher code.

Design Solutions Can Save Space

When looking for furniture, consider how much space you actually need.

If you’re only using a laptop, you’ll be fine with a small desk.

Today, home office desks are available in a range of styles. This means you’ll find something that fits perfectly into your home.

Built-in desks and furniture are great, space-saving solutions.

For example, a drop-down or pull-out desk can be concealed within kitchen joinery.

Not only can this be cleared away when it isn’t in use, but you can also use it to supervise the kids as they do their homework.

Of course, you’ll also need an office chair.

While you’ll want something small enough to fit into your office space, it should also be comfortable.

Many home office chairs are now foldable, meaning that you can tidy them away at the end of the day.

Dual function items, such as a printer with a built-in scanner, will take up far less room than having both a printer and a scanner.

Shelving units with built-in organizers can also help you save space, as well as money, in the long run. Shelving is also a great way to make the most of any vertical space.

Tall bookcases and wall mounted storage can also help to keep the floor clutter-free. This helps create an illusion of space.

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About the Author: Danny Knight
Danny is a dad living in Philadelphia. He enjoys DIY projects almost as much as raising his two children. He is the co-creator of FixItDads.com, which offers tips for home improvement projects.

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How I Became a Work-at-Home Mom wahm


Lately, I've had a few friends who asked me about my homebased job.

I'm not a freelancing ninja, like some people I admire like Jason Dulay, but I do have an interesting story to share that might help other moms (or non-parents) who would like to start working from home.

So here it goes, my story of how I started freelancing as a writer (and some tips to give you an idea!) and how I became a full-time homebased worker with a salary that's more than good enough to support a small family.

This is a long post, by the way, so better bookmark this in case you need more time to read it in its entirety :)
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Amuma Childcare Services Cebu - Review

Last weekend, Amuma Childcare Services had a 2-hour free trial and open-house.

We have been doing quite well for almost a year without a yaya, but it's still nice to have a backup childcare plan in case of emergencies, or when situations arise where bringing a child can be quite inconvenient—or when parents simply want to have a little breather, even for just a few hours.

We took the chance to avail of Amuma's 2-hour free trial, and I must say, we're quite happy with our experience! (Even our little girl!) Here's our review:

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why i stopped mommy blogging - parental oversharing

It's been such a long time since I last wrote on my blog, and for a few good reasons.

Let me first tell you that I was working on my master's thesis about mommy blogging and the risks it poses to the privacy of our kids—and I unearthed a lot of valuable yet scary data that prompted me to forego mommy blogging.

Here are the hard facts about mommy blogging (specifically, parental oversharing) and how it made me rethink my blogging practices:
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Showing Your Home: Focus on the Details that Matter
Article written by Danny Knight


Selling your family home? In a perfect world, you’d be able to keep your home spotless in every moment of every day, ready to be shown to each prospective buyer.

 But in reality, life is busy, and kids are messy. 

Depending on how long your home is on the market, you may find it impossible to keep your home perfectly clean and tidy.

Instead of going crazy trying to keep your kids from touching anything and spending every waking moment cleaning the trail behind them, let’s focus on the few details that matter most when showing your house.

What’s That Smell?

One of the first things that you notice when you enter a room is the smell.

Unfortunately, because you live in your home every day, you may have become accustomed to a smell in your house that others would find off-putting.

You can combat this phenomenon by just simply seeking out smells in your house. When you are aware and looking for odor, you are more likely to notice it. 

Be sure to check obvious places of odor like trash cans, garbage disposals, and toilet areas.

 When preparing for a showing, take the extra step to light a candle, turn on the diffuser, or simmer some citrus and cinnamon on the stovetop.

According to Reader’s Digest, the right smell can immediately trigger a sense of happiness, which is exactly what you want your prospective buyers to feel in your home.

No Crumbs Left Behind

An easily overlooked detail by a homeowner that is an immediate turnoff to a buyer is a dirty countertop.

In addition to keeping your counters clear of clutter, it’s important to keep them sparkling clean. 

Whether it’s the remnants of the toast you made for breakfast, or it’s a week-old cereal that your toddler has secretly shoved behind the banana stand, you need to take the time to thoroughly wipe down every counter and surface. 

Get in the habit of wiping off your kitchen counters after every meal and snack.

You can leave cleaners in each room so that you can quickly wipe off bathroom counters or tabletops every time you leave.

Take the 60 seconds to wipe down surfaces as you pass them, and your potential buyers won’t be put off by mystery crumbs and debris.

Let There Be Light

Have you ever noticed that scary movies seem to always be set in dark lighting? Or that when you see commercials for beautiful homes and vacations, sunlight is always pouring in?

Lighting sets the mood of a space. 

When showing your home, you want to highlight the beauty of your home and create a sense of joy and peace.

Natural light is the best choice as it invokes warmth and happiness, so open up your curtains and blinds to let the light shine in.

HomeLight points out that lighting on the outside of your home is also important.

Make sure that your exterior is well-lit and the bulbs are new and bright.

Fake It 'Till You Make It

Lastly, fake it ‘till you make it. Even if your home isn’t tidy all day, you need to make it look as though it is.

If you have young kids that are constantly leaving toys all over, consider keeping an empty bin in each room.

When you have a last-minute showing, you can quickly gather all clutter into the bin and store it neatly in the garage.

 If laundry is your nemesis and your baskets are caught overflowing when a showing is minutes away, cleverly store that laundry in empty suitcases before you leave (just don’t forget about them!).

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The ultimate goal is to keep your home clean and spotless, but with these tips, you will be able to focus on the details that matter most when the time comes to show your home.

By checking for odors, wiping the countertops, opening the blinds, and hiding away the clutter, you will sell your home in no time!


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About the Author: Danny Knight
Danny is a dad living in Philadelphia. He enjoys DIY projects almost as much as raising his two children. He is the co-creator of FixItDads.com, which offers tips for home improvement projects.
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How Disabled Parents Can Make Time for Self-Care
Article written by Ashley Taylor

It’s understandable to feel a little guilty about taking time to go out for coffee or do some meditating when you’re the parent of a young child.

After all, your instincts are to be there when your little one needs you, and that’s a big responsibility.

But if you’re a disabled parent, it’s especially important to rest and renew yourself so you’re better able to provide the level of care you want and your child's needs.

Self-care isn’t a manifestation of personal selfishness; rather, it’s an essential part of being an effective, nurturing parent.

Fresh air

If you’re a disabled individual with mobility restrictions, getting outside for some fresh air and sunshine between feedings may be difficult.

Without some respite, spending so much time inside can be frustrating and will eventually take a toll on your mood and mental outlook.

Everyone needs some of the healthful vitamin D your body gets naturally from sunlight, and there’s nothing quite as invigorating as a lungful of clean air after a long day of changing diapers and preparing bottles.

So spend an hour or so out on the deck each day or take a quick stroll just to clear your head when your little one is napping in their stroller. You need it, and your child will benefit as well.

De-stress your environment

Decluttering and organizing your environment will help alleviate some of the stress that hits you now and then.

Your bedroom is one place that should be as soothing as possible, so make sure it’s a restful, clean and quiet space where it’s easy to aim for the 7 to 9 hours of sleep your body needs.

Install blackout curtains if light is a problem, and keep all screens (TV and computer) turned off while you’re sleeping.

It’s also a good idea to maintain a temperature below 72 degrees to keep your body temperature down, which will facilitate good sleep.

Proper nutrition

Diet also has a lot to do with how you feel and your ability to maintain a positive perspective through the late-night feedings or random temper tantrums.

Take the time to prepare healthy, nutritional meals rather than relying on fast food for the sake of convenience.

Make a point of including vegetables, fruit, whole grains, and protein in each meal, and whip up a protein shake for those between-meal occasions when you need to get something in your stomach.

Doing you

Self-care is a very broad term; it means a lot of things and not just good food, exercise, and sleep.

As a disabled parent, your days are taken up with caring for another, which means you need to find ways to care for your soul.

Arrange with your partner or a family member so that you can get a few hours during the week or weekend to enjoy doing something that’s meaningful to you.

That could mean watching a favorite old movie, reading a book, playing a video game, or spending time writing in a journal (a highly therapeutic habit). In the long run, setting aside time just for you will make you a better mom or dad.

Talk with friends

When you’re spending so much time with a little one, it can be easy to lose perspective.

Some parents begin to feel depressed, or worry that they’re not doing a good job.

Sometimes you just need to talk with someone who cares about you, who knows you and always seems to have the right words at the right moment.

Talk, text, or FaceTime with a good friend or relative each week. Share your frustrations and funny parent stories.

Before you know it, you’ll be laughing or having a good cry - both are good because you’ll be venting emotionally and getting it off your chest.

A disabled parent can benefit greatly from a loving, supportive voice reminding you what a good person and parent you are.

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Parenting is already a physically and emotionally taxing role, particularly when caring for a little one.

As a disabled parent, it’s even more important for you stay mindful of your need for self-care and your child’s need for a rested, strengthened, and well-adjusted parent.

And don’t underestimate the value of maintaining a restful and orderly living environment.

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About the Author: Ashley Taylor

Ashley Taylor is a freelance writer, photographer, and advocate for people with disabilities. She created DisabledParents.org to provide information and resources to other parents with disabilities. When she isn’t working, she enjoys spending time with her husband and two children.
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